Is it senior school already?!
I was doing the usual morning ritual of opening the fridge door (read facebook) and a memory from the year 2012 popped up. It was a photograph of my eldest one’s first day at school in the pre prep. A cheeky smile, hair neatly done, washed and cleaned aura of a little boy came up. The one who would happily pose for photographs when I asked him to pose. Flash forward 2019, my little boy is all grown up and ready to go to senior school. Is it time for senior school already?
Yes, you’ve heard it right senior school! Where did the time go? I think when a child starts reception year in school, just like age, there is no stoppage. Is it all that blurry? I still remember that dreaded red book from school which carried comments about him from his form teacher. I still remember our walks to and from school, packed lunches, sports days, the names of his friends, star of the week certificates, coffee mornings. I was towards the end of my second pregnancy when he started school. So there were changes all around him. Did we make sure we thought about it all? Did we plan it well? Other than keeping an abundant supply of love for him, I don’t think we planned it well. We were too caught up in our jobs, organising maternity leave, things to welcome our new member of the family and general chaos that we thought he would fit in somehow. He could easily it take it all in. Now, when I look back, I am filled with guilt and retrospection – ‘I could have done better, I could have been more organised. I could have had more patience. I could have been calmer’.
However, the big question is am I ready now? The answer is the same – ‘I don’t think so’. Again? Yes, yet again! For instance, I have ordered his name tags. The delivery came on time too. But I remember keeping it in a very safe place. The safe place has turned out to be the safest place in the world because I can’t find it now. So anyone looking into doing anything dodgy and hiding it in somewhere safe – you know whom to contact! A few mums suggested me to reorder them and I did. After reading the note on tags, I came to know that they had to be a specific colour and background. I somehow completely missed that point. So my forgetfulness has turned into a boon because I would have sewn up the tags with the incorrect colour anyways.
I really thought that I had it all covered and planned. I thought it’s his senior school and I needed to be calm. But the last few days have been a chaos and nothing less than a crime site as if we have a search warrant with a team of detectives in the house trying to locate those name tags. As I write this post, I feel a sense of responsibility and pressure – I am sending out the future big man to school. Is he going to take the right path? I don’t want him to take the pressure of being ‘Mr right’ but I also don’t want any less. How do I tell him that we want a balanced person out of him?
I re read the last paragraph and trust me it makes me feel nauseated and hopeless. He is not a diet to be ‘balanced’. Future? Hell no, live today well. Right path? Who decides that? Mr Right? There is no such thing. It doesn’t exist – Sometimes you are right and sometimes you are not. You could be wrong for many but right for some. So there is no point trying to achieve the status for ‘Mr right’. I want to enjoy his school life and take each day as it comes. And what does he want? I want to leave it to him to figure out.
Here’s to a beautiful journey! Here’s to all the parents and the students!