Is it Father’s Day today?
‘Is it Father’s Day today?’ It was my dad’s usual response to my wish. I had never wished my dad on social media as he was not on social media. I might have written a post but it would have been generic, not towards him directly. I would call my dad on father’s day and wish him ‘Happy Father’s Day’. To that he would laugh and say ‘thank you’ and say ‘Is it Father’s Day today? Both of us would laugh to it. Days such as Father’s Day were not around when we were growing up. It makes me feel ancient. But honestly, I don’t remember celebrating Father’s Day as a kid. We only had birthdays and my dad wouldn’t remember his birthday too. I had to remind him that it was his birthday while we wished him ‘happy birthday’. That meant that there was no question of offending him if you didn’t wish him on his birthday. So what made me write about it and why am I writing it today?
Because it feels empty. I am engulfed by the reality that ‘yesterday I had a dad and today I don’t’. I can’t pick up the phone and laugh to silly things. I can’t wish him and wait for his questions ‘Is it Father’s Day?’ How do you know it is Father’s Day? How do you remember all of this? But thank you’ and my brother who would as usual forget to wish and get an earful (Just for the laughs). It’s painful and I am caught up with emotions and can barely see the keyboard. I am one of those people who believe in the love and respect factor on a day to day basis. I don’t want to get confined. I don’t want the celebration of love and respect confined to a day. Then why am I getting choked up thinking about Father’s Day? I have called him every Father’s Day, just for the sake of it. It’s not something I believe in. My dad wouldn’t even mind if I didn’t call him because he didn’t remember dates anyways. What I miss is my dad. Not Father’s Day, but the call. His laughter. My heart is still warm with his presence but I want to hear him and feel the warmth one more time.
In memory of that call…