Going back to work, say this September

Sounds terribly easy

Leaving those eyes, cuddles and smiles

Well…fill in the blanks please

 This is to all the mums who are thinking of returning to work.

The child is the mother’s heart and I said fill in the blanks because I know the feeling. I still remember the day I left my son at the nursery. He would not let me go. He would hold on to my hair. He would look at me and try to hide into somewhere around my body. I would stop to give him some more cuddles and kisses. When neither of us would display the urge of letting go, one of his teachers would take him from me and waterworks would follow. The moment I leave, I would not dare to look back and walk away with a heavy heart.

It’s hard leaving your child alone and the fact that you too are left alone after the months long union with your child. But trust me, things do change. Kids have an amazing ability to adjust to a new situation much better than us mothers. Once they get the reassurance that at the end of the day, you are there to pick them up, things work out magically. It’s more to do with trust. It’s the development of the same trust when you leave your baby to sleep in the cot for the first time. You know that when you hear your baby cry, you will run to your baby and pick him/her up. But your baby doesn’t know that, for your baby it’s separation from you. But after a couple of days, when you set to the routine, your baby will happily sleep in the cot because he/she knows that you are there to pick him/her up.

Give yourself some good time because settling in period is not only for the baby. You too need the time to settle in and feel comfortable and relaxed with the idea and set up. As I said kids settle in quicker than us. Hence even after your kid settles down in the nursery, you may still feel guilty, upset, angry with yourself and have your thoughts around your kid all the time. Whereas your kid is happy because he/she has worked it out that ‘mummy is coming to pick me up’. Your baby will play, nap, learn, make new friends, eat, drink, get their nappy changed, washed and be happy. So once you have made the decision to keep your baby in a nursery or any other place, you be assured that your baby is happy. I know that for the first few days, your child’s face would come up in front of you and you would feel extremely lousy about your decision but once your baby settles down, things change for good. You will be able to tell whether he/she is happy there. As a mum, you are the first person to know if something is upsetting or disturbing and act accordingly.

My son was about 2 years old when he started nursery. I mentioned earlier about our initial days when I used to drop him at the nursery. But I did not tell you about the joy of picking him up. It was delightful, magical and beautiful. When he would see my face, there was a little jump of joy, he would have the biggest smile on his face and jump up to me for a cuddle. I used to ask the staff about his day and they would say that just after the little drama in the morning, he was fine. He seemed happy. However, leaving him every morning was still not working out. I used to feel lousy. Once one of my friends was a little late to drop her kid at the nursery. I was almost leaving after our usual scene. I told her that I would wait for her outside and walk together. When she came out after dropping her son, I couldn’t help but ask her about my son. I said, ‘is he still crying?’ She said, ‘no, he is making some trains’. At that moment I knew that I should not be feeling guilty of my decision. He is doing fine and I will try my best to settle down.

Hope this brings you a little comfort and leaves a smile on your face!

Much love

Suranjita

Suranjita Bhagawati

Hello and welcome to 'Mumways'. I am Suranjita and I live in London with my three lovely kids and husband. Mumways is for inspiration - Writing about parenting, well being and lifestyle. I hope you enjoy going through it and thank you for visiting!