How are you? It has been a bit longer this time. Please accept my sincere apologies. Hope you are keeping well! I like talking about well being, specially for mothers (for obvious reasons:-). As a woman, as a wife, as a mother, we sometimes (well most of the time), take a bit more than we can potentially chew. School runs, weekend lessons, birthday parties, homework, I am not even going to the bits linked to each of the activities. You tend to work in an unending circle of events. Life suddenly revolves around the kids. Richard Branson once said that ‘when you have children, you cease to be the the picture and become the frame’.
And rightly so, you are there, framing every aspect of your child’s life. You do it because you love them and you want to see them do well. It’s such a routine and if something disrupts it, it’s tough, I mean tough on you. Our schedules are like hard bound scripts and we are committed to them. One slight alteration in the script and you have to re-write the characters. In that edited script, you are no longer that strong, collected and calm person as you have transformed into this frustrated character with streaks of grey! I can hear myself while writing it, ‘go to sleep, it’s 9 o’clock’. Particularly when you plan out something after their bedtime and it does not happen as smoothly as you had mapped out, you may get a little anxious. Some of my friends, who are university professors find it extremely hard because they can only mark the examination papers after their kid’s bedtime.What do you do? Especially when you don’t have a helping hand? How do you take a moment for yourself? Or rather do you even take one moment for yourself? Isn’t it the story of most of us?
Without even answering any one of those questions, one more question has popped out from the seeds of thoughts. Can we even take it easy? A few moments just to yourself, is it possible? Within your list of commitments, where do you fit in? To run the show, you need to unwind and take it easy. They are kids and they learn from you. If you are after them, yelling at them all the time then no one is happy. Instead take a moment and pause. Close down all the opens tabs in your mind and be in the ‘now’ for at least 10 minutes. ‘Now’ is good, it’s not stressful, there is no promise or commitment or memories.
Here’s how I try to get a bit of perspective:
It’s simple but most of us forget to breathe. It came to me when I was lecturing my son on the benefits of ‘practice’. I was telling him ‘the practice makes perfect story’! My son interrupted me and asked, ‘mummy how come we breathe so perfectly without even practising it?’ Kids have their unique ways of thinking and making you wonder! It’s a gift! I thought that was a very good question but I was slightly angered by his response to my ‘art of practice story’. It made me wonder but they don’t stop. He kept asking me. Mummy tell me how? Now, I had to come up with some sort of story. I tried to link it up with science with some big words such as physiology but quickly changed my mind before he asks me about physiology. I said, ‘it’s the organs doing it for you’. ‘Lungs keep on practicing even when you sleep. They do a perfect job!’ Gosh! I somehow linked it with the ‘art of practice story’. Victory for me. Actually, not really a victory. I thought have I even given it a thought? Why do we think of our breathing system only when we think of the ‘asanas’ in Yoga. Why not just focus on our breathing when we have a rough day or a situation? Breathing has no feelings or memories, it’s physiology. So if you focus on it, there is surety that you wouldn’t reach a familiar place with memories. Just feel it for some time, up and down motion. Breathe in and breathe out! It also affirms you that you are alive and in the ‘now’?. This reminds me that today is International Yoga Day as well, so hope you have a great day full of Yoga!
It’s so relaxing when you know that you don’t have to think of allocations for a day. Especially when you don’t have a second pair of hands to help, you need to chill when there is complete chaos. Go for a nap with your kids, play some silly games, watch a film with your spouse, lazily make some comfort food i.e. have a completely unstructured day. Enjoy the moments with the people you like spending time with or follow the triple Cs.
Cooking: Experiment with something new. Change an old dish into something contemporary. A twist in the tail kinda! It’s about focussing on the now and deactivating the anxious mind. Now, if your food isn’t moreish or you are not interested in cooking at all then you need to do something else. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair for the people eating your food?.
Chat with friends: Talking incessantly with the people you like is a great way to relax and unwind. If you don’t have chilcare, then you can either take them with you or wait till your spouse comes home. You can go for a quick chat after their bedtime. One of my friends picks me up after our kid’s bedtime for a coffee and chat. It feels great to talk, with a hot cuppa! Or you can call someone over phone to pour your heart out!
Catch up with sleep: If your toddler is fast asleep, then curl up with them. Just close your eyes, wrap your kid with your arms and switch your phone off. It’s so comforting and a few minutes of nap works wonders. I love those naps.
So why not take some time off and breathe today and you have a reason too (Father’s Day/International Yoga Day). Hope you keep well to run the show!
Her’s wishing a very happy father’s day to my wonderful dad (deta) and to all the lovely dads..