Hello! Hope you are doing well and had a good start to the new year! This is my first post of the year 2017 and hopefully this year urges me to write more and I keep at it. I am going to start from the top, I mean literally: The head. The head and the beautiful hair on it. I am going to tell you a story about my little boy who had a little phase with hair gel.
One day he came up to me and said, ‘mummy can you please buy me a hair gel’. I said, ‘No’ (Obviously!). It was followed by ‘everybody in my class uses hair gel’. I knew that was not true and I named about five boys who didn’t use hair gel. I ignored it for a few months. But persistent as he is, he came up to me again and said, ‘mummy now can I use hair gel please, please, please’. Eventually I gave in. I bought him the very basic hair gel available and his eyes lit up just like the shiny gel. On the first day, he used a tiny bit of hair gel. The same boy who wouldn’t spend a minute with his hair, suddenly started spending about 10 mins looking and admiring himself. In the morning school run, he started taking ridiculous amount of time fixing his hair and looking at himself from different angles. Then I suggested that instead of spending (please read wasting) so much time at home, he could use the car mirror to fix his hair. All of a sudden, all my hair brushes disappeared from my place. They all landed up in my car. Because of that my hair was all over the place and there I was sitting with a dude with immaculate hair.
The same routine followed for weeks. I thought, ‘what have I done?’ ‘An eight year old should focus on studying, reading, playing and not on grooming’. I felt terrible. I thought, ‘When he prepares for his football, rugby or running, the concern should be his fitness and not on the direction of his hair? When he prepares for his homework, hair should not be an issue?’ Here I am in my thirties, and still haven’t gone to a salon to dye my hair and my little 8 year old, is so cool about using all these stuff in his hair. I had all sorts of thoughts. I didn’t know if I was over reacting but I was sure that I wanted him to focus on the ‘real important’ things’. The shiny gel was making me feel terrible. I wouldn’t lie but I did enjoy seeing him admiring himself in front of the mirror. He was growing up but a little part of me was refusing to accept it. I talked to myself and said, ‘take it easy and give it some time and it will phase out’.
I was getting all worked up. The heat was intense and the blood was boiling when one day we were really getting late and I saw him quietly giving touch ups to his hair (completely oblivious to anything)! That was it, I grabbed the bottle of gel and threw it in the bin. My act wasn’t accepted with open arms. There was a complete melt down and for a week or two, he kept on saying ‘my hair used to look so good, but now it doesn’t’. I would say, ‘now it looks even better’, ‘it’s so nice to touch, it feels great’, ‘it feels as if your hair breathes now’. It was fine for about a month.
We got busy with the end of term activities of the school in December and he had a performance. He came up to me and said, ‘mummy I will be really good and will only use a tiny bit of gel, can you please buy me another gel’, ‘This time I promise I will not over use it’. I thought, ‘boy it’s your singing on display and not your hair, dude’. But I kept it quiet. I knew that it will only upset him. I knew that my way of throwing the gel in the bin didn’t have any effect on him. So I had to come up with a plan for him to understand the really important things. I bought him the same gel again. Can you believe it?
This time around, he was careful not to over use it. But it didn’t last long. He was 8 after all and forgot about all his big claims! As I said, I had a plan this time. I printed out an article and showed it to him when we were lazing around. I put forward my arguments with logic. You must be thinking ‘ o what a paranoid mum?’ You might be right, but I had to do what I thought was best for my child. I showed him some of the side effects of hair gel (which I am sure, are not really side effects). But until my child grows up and understands the ‘really important’ things, water is the best substitute.
So now, he uses water on his hair and he is happy with it. Do you think I was right to do that? Or did I overreact? What would you have done? I would love to know your views on the gel story.