Surface pressure – are you feeling it?
If you had not noticed, let me bring it to your attention that ever since I created Mumways, it has been the longest phase of time that I did not write. There were several distractions but I made them my excuses. I had finally settled down to write. However, just like the notifications on my phone, thoughts kept pinging in my head with sound effects. Emails about one more case of Covid in my daughter’s school. Subject choice evening for my son at GCSE (Matriculation in the Indian education system). Little one’s assembly. These were the top layer thoughts – priorities. Underneath them, I had plenty more thoughts such as ‘not able to write’, unable to feel the happiness of sharing my posts, ‘pressure of what ifs’ – what if I forget to write and close down Mumways. Shall I call it ‘surface pressure’?
Now, during times, when you have so many things to push down the carpet, what do you do? You look for distractions. Isn’t it? One more episode of a web series, another hilarious Instagram reel and the random scrolling on the phone expecting everything to go away. That’s how, I chanced upon a song from the Disney movie, ‘Encanto’.
The Disney character, Louisa in the movie Encanto started singing “Surface Pressure” and my heart stopped.
I don’t ask how hard the work is
Got a rough, indestructible surface
Diamonds and platinum, I find ’em, I flatten ’em
I take what I’m handed, I break what’s demanded,
but…Under the surface
I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
The song ‘Surface Pressure’ talks about life as a middle child and older daughter – nothing less than a superhuman! Louisa is ever ready to help and derive joy from being strong. At the same time wonders how long she can last, and if anyone sees her for anything beyond what she achieves for others.
In the time of the pandemic, women around the globe are shouldering huge holes in childcare schedules. Working from home and rock-solid for the children as well the household. The song kind of sums up the hundred things you undertake, the thousand expectations that you set for yourself and millions of scattered thoughts you try to collect and protect.
The song carries on…
Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won’t let go, whoa-oh
Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ’til it’s ready to blow, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Give it to your sister, your sister’s stronger
See if she can hang on a little longer
Who am I if I can’t carry it all?
I don’t have superhuman strengths. Don’t believe it when people say it. You are doing the best you can. This is what matters. I have never put unrealistic expectations on myself. However, we do have a lot going on at the moment. I have decided that when I run short of ideas, I am going to speak to you over a video and jot down my thoughts from the video. Let’s hope for the best and see where it takes me.
Thank you for all your love and support!