To my fellow mums
‘Year 6, 11 plus, Important year, grammar school, best school, you must be really stressed, he/she must be working hard, exams, have you gone the tutoring way’, if your child has entered the gates of the famous Year 6 then these are most common phrases that you would have encountered in your current phase of life. I must have asked similar questions just to keep myself sailing in the senior school tide. I have heard phrases such as Tiger mum and helicopter mum. I am sure there are other kinds which we have labelled each other in the mothering department. I don’t know which one I am. To be honest, I sometimes act out to be one. I really don’t know what’s going to work for my child. May be a Cool mum? I strive to think like one but then I shout out with a high pitched ‘No’, which contradicts my ‘Cool mum’ image. After reading or learning from videos of ‘how to talk to your kids’, I become the ‘Zen’ parent, with the ‘calm’ voice on I say, ‘I hear you’, ‘interesting idea’, but they are smart. My son picks up very quickly, he says ‘Why are you saying ‘I hear you’ and ‘interesting idea’ when it’s a rubbish idea?’
So who am I? Rather what am I?
Emotional wreck. I am there 100%.
Free spirited. I am not sure of the percentage but there as well.
Tiger, helicopter mum. Probably ‘yes’ as well.
I think, as mothers, at some point in our lives, we must have ticked all the boxes. Hopefully not at the same time:-)
I was planning to write about the Year 6 exam and the hysteria attached to it. But then diverted to mothering styles. Because it comes down to the fear of the unknown. While writing it, I am thinking twice because just yesterday when my son arrived from school, I had a moment of fear of the unknown and shouted at him to do some work. However, I quickly regained my consciousness and came back to the present which was ‘Messy’ but lovely (as my 1 year old opened the yoghurt container).
Do work with them and help them but please let them know and internalise that this year is NOT a make or break year. No ‘Year’ is a make or break year. Ask yourself, aren’t we still either making or breaking it? We are still discovering ourselves, still trying to find out answers and in the process sometimes we make and sometimes we break. Isn’t it? Please, my fellow mums, take it easy, there are no secrets, share your worries and spread your joy. Focus on the learning process and remember that when you reach there, there is no there. Enjoy the process and the moments of chaos and bliss.
PS: If you have liked reading it, do share the love:-)