How do you feel?
How are you? Hope you are well and not counting the days to September yet :-). ‘How do you feel?’, a line copied from one of my daughter’s books. The character in the book replies, ‘I feel loved’. My daughter and I often ask this question to each other. ‘How do you feel? I feel loved’. Isn’t it magical to hear such beautiful words from your children?! It’s so lyrical and fills up my heart. But how do I feel? I am an adult after all. These simple and extraordinary words are not enough. Just being loved is not enough. I want more and so I complicate things by bringing in various other emotions.
Sometimes I feel vulnerable and sometimes strong.
I doubt myself and wonder if it’s wrong?
Sometimes I feel jealous and sometimes insecure
And in another moment, I am so sure
Sometimes I let my guard down
And then I ponder with a frown
Sometimes I wonder at the blessings
Sometimes I forget the blessings
It goes on. Sometimes these emotions take up a lot of my memory space. But I do keep going. I feel to keep me going, I have an ok sense of humour to laugh at myself. A very dry and sarcastic one (which only a few people will get it). A sense of humour which sails me through and calms me down to take on the absurdities that life throw upon me. To strongly believe that everything has an expiry date, be it doubts, troubles, boredom, stupidity or nonsense (sometimes self inflicted and sometimes by people). As long as you know you are loved, your kids draw pictures of your big smiling face and you look after yourself, everything else will be alright. I have boxes full of such cute, colourful and smiling pictures. I know that the side effects of being an adult will be there but I feel sorted. So how do you feel and what keeps you going?
Much love
Suranjita
